It has been a rough week with the babies who have battled temperatures above one hundred and four degrees. Capri was walking like someone who was intoxicated as her temperature climbed. We have memories of her getting a virus last Thanksgiving which knocked her out for months. Our giggling girl was only seen in fleeting glimpses and her developmental progress slowed in those months. We have fears of that happening again as her body fights the latest infection. All four babies have coughs and runny noses and I have also come down with a milder version of this illness. In physical therapy, I asked about Ryder’s walk sounding like the clomping feet of a horse and his therapist suspects one leg is longer than the other and said we will need to keep an eye on that. That seemed to be another thing added to our list. The babies have all been tired and cranky and have cried like it is the end of the world when any small thing did not go as they imagined. I have been feeling tired too and decided to take a break on the computer after they went down for their naps.
I came across a blog in someones blog list with the title, Thirty Tiny Toes. I thought to myself, “This must be a blog about triplets. I will have to check it out.” So, I clicked on the link and was faced with a blog post titled, “3 Month Angelversary.” I read along until I got to the point where she said, “I miss my babies so much.” My heart stopped as I realized she meant that her babies had died. Denial kicked in as I thought, “No, it could not have been all three,” only to read further and find out that they did indeed lose all three of their babies. My eyes welled up with tears and I had difficulty reading any further. Her babies did not have the flu or runny noses; they were gone. My babies were asleep upstairs.
I read many of her posts as she discussed how she should be tired from sleepless nights up with her triplets and should have a house full of toys and gear. Instead, she is faced with returning to work as a teacher not knowing what her students and colleagues will say. I often leave blog post comments and usually my Google account is linked or my blog is linked to the comment. I could not imagine leaving her a comment with a link to my Google account with the name “Multiples Mom.’ I am sure that is the last thing she would want to see. So I left her this comment:
I cannot imagine the strength you need to get through each day. The sunset
pictures are beautiful. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I had multiple
miscarriages which was excruciating but that does not compare to looking into
your children’s eyes and holding their hands and then losing them.”