Are they quads? This is the most common question we get when we are out with the Sugar Snaps. In the beginning, I would typically reply by giving the Cliff Notes version of our story. I sometimes still do that. But, what I learned over the last (almost three!) years is that most people really do not want to know the details. It is similar to when someone asks, ‘how are you?’ They want you to say, ‘fine’ or ‘good’ no matter what kind of a day you are having. If you respond with more than that, they tend to look a little glazed over or surprised you answered a question that was not really intended as a question. I found with our story, even the Cliff Notes version is ‘TMI’ for most people. They simply want to tell someone later that they saw quads in real life.
I also discovered that most people tend to focus on the pregnancy more than the day to day reality of having four same-age children. I often get people looking me up and down trying to figure out how I carried four babies at once. They often ask me that very question. Or, they will comment that I look really good (for having carried four) or question, “you fit all of them in there!?,” gesturing to my stomach.
I used to give everyone the short version of our story because I was raised to tell the truth. Saying, ‘yes’ to the quad question felt dishonest even though my day to day life is no different than parents of four that shared the same womb. As you know if you’ve read our story, they are all biologically ours and are all the same age. I have gotten around the quad question by answering that they are all the same age. This leaves people even more confused. “And they are all yours?,” they will ask. My ‘yes’ answer confirms for them that they are quads. Sometimes they will look at me like I’m not very bright for apparently not knowing the word ‘quadruplets.’
After so many encounters and the realization that most people do not want to know, I have started replying ‘yes’ to the quad question. Though, I still struggle a little with that. Greg volunteers the quad word regularly when asked and feels no pangs about the nuances of difference. Functionally, are they quads? Yes! My day to day reality is that I have four same-age toddlers who are all siblings. If you were in my situation, what would you say? Cliff notes? A simple yes? Or, they are quads. Your comments are welcome.
I would answer, "Yes and no," hahaha… And if they want to know more after that answer then give them the Cliff Notes version.
Triplet boys and their older sister-
or say 'the older sister and her three triplet younger brothers' – which is the truth – if they want more info – you could say – there's a short story if you want to hear it – maybe they'll be curious, maybe not – but they'll have a truthful answer.
Thank you Heidi.
That would work. I am sure I would get some quizzical looks. They might think I'm confused.
: 0 ) Theresa
Hi jean Orr.
That would be a true statement. I imagine they would assume that Capri is a year older if I put it that way. It is more information than my evasive answer of 'they are the same age.' I will have to try it and see how people respond.
: 0 ) Theresa
I would just say yes as "quad" is a group of 4! Like you said, most people don't want the details and you really don't have time to tell it every single time because you have your hands full with 4 littles. Just enjoy them every second because time flies and they will be staring school before you know it.
Thank you Judy.
That is good advice. I am already amazed by how fast time flies. They are growing and changing so much each day and have a genuine warmth that amazes me. I know this phase is a short one and I feel very lucky to be part of it.
: 0 ) Theresa
I know a woman who had twins and when the twins were a year and a half she had quads
Hi Faigie.
Wow! She is even busier than we are. Having multiples is a really unique experience and I love that they are growing up with a play group and s built in support system. They are able to learn social skills and sharing early on which is nice. It is great that your friend already had experience with twins before her quads arrived. She was already a pro.
: 0 ) Theresa
Your story is really interesting, so I would tell it if people ask but otherwise I would just say they are quads, like you do 🙂
Thank you Kate.
Some people are genuinely interested in our story. I think I will continue to share with those who seem like they want to know and give a simple answer to people who don't.
: 0 ) Theresa
So happy for you!!! I am the mother of quads as well!!' 2 girls 2 identical boys…. They are 23… Time flies enjoy every minute. People always would say how did you fit them all in that little body and you look great for having quads!
Congratulations Open Your Eyes.
23…all grown up. That is exciting. Time is already going by so fast. It is amazing how quickly it goes by. I am trying to take it all in and enjoy all of the little moments. Thanks for coming by!
: 0 ) Theresa
I have three under two (at birth three under one) so I get the same question a lot.
Yes, they are triplets, but we just feed one of them. XD