Since I am a psychologist, teaching our children about feelings and behavior is as important to me as teaching them to wash their hands or brush their teeth. They know a variety of words to describe their feelings because having words to describe the way they feel inside is empowering. It allows them to have a dialogue with others and to let people know how actions impact them. This week, the theme for Playful Preschool is Healthy Kids. It may sound funny to talk about mental health for preschoolers, but I believe in laying the foundation early so that they have tools to talk about the way they feel throughout their lives. There are people who never have the opportunity to learn how to express themselves and are unable to convey their feelings as adults. Learning to talk about feelings opens so many doors in life, and I want our children to be able to have healthy connections with others.
There are adults out there who believe that their actions were justified by their feelings. I remember doing an anger management group inside a prison with men convicted of violent felonies. They were working on separating their feelings from their actions. At times, I would meet up with one of them who was in isolation after getting into a fight or throwing a chair across the room and talk about alternative choices for next time. The news headlines are full of stories of people taking inappropriate actions spurred by feelings. I want our children to know from a young age that feelings do not justify actions.
Activities:
Make a Face
Write down a list of feelings such as:
- Sad
- Happy
- Angry
- Excited
- Surprised
- Scared
- Frustrated
- Confused
Call out the feelings one at a time and have your children or students show the feelings on their faces (as in the pictures above). The faces they make will be silly and exaggerated as they should be for this game. The idea is for them to be able to have fun while conveying an understanding of the feeling words you are calling out. We sometimes use this as a way to get them to smile for photos. They find it funny, so by the time we get to a happy face, they will have a genuine smile for a photo (if we’re lucky.)
Question Game: Feelings vs. Behavior (or Actions)
Come up with a series of questions describing feelings and potential actions children can take. Ask them if the action is justified by the feeling and ask why or why not.
Here are some sample questions:
- If you are feeling really angry with your brother, is it OK for you to hit him?
- If you are feeling happy, is it OK for you to give yourself a hug?
- If you are excited, is it OK to talk loudly at a restaurant?
- If you are feeling scared, is it OK to run away and hide?
- If you are feeling sad, is it OK for you to cry?
Here is a video of Capri answering a few questions about feelings vs. behavior.
If you have several children or students, you could also have them role play feelings and appropriate actions. I emphasize with our children that all feelings are OK. Their behavior is a choice. They can make appropriate or inappropriate choices. The games above have helped to teach them the difference between having feelings and taking actions. Have you talked with your children or students about feelings? I would love to hear from you in the comments here and/or on the Capri + 3 Facebook page. Be sure to check out the rest of the posts from the Playful Preschool team for more lesson plans on the topic of Healthy Kids.
For More Ideas on Teaching and Keeping Preschoolers Healthy:
Teaching Children About Feelings Vs. Behavior by Capri + 3
Letter Match Tooth Cleaning Game by Rainy Day Mumm
Brushing Teeth Song by Growing Book by Book
Elephants Toothpaste by Learning 2 Walk
Nutrition: Sorting and Categorizing Food by Mom Inspired Life
Healthy Food Habits in Preschool: Sorting and a Paper Plate Project by The Preschool Toolbox Blog
Asthma Action Plan by Tiny Tots Adventures
Hand Washing Sequencing and Song by The Educators’ Spin On It
WOW – this article is fantastic and so important. Sometimes I think I forget to separate the two and will be working on it more this week.
Fantastic activity and post – we need to work on feelings and behaviour especially hard as my eldest struggles with reading people's feelings and understanding their behaviours
Whoa! That was a great article. I completely understand when children are not taught or allowed to express their feelings. Little people have so many feelings that they don't understand, and if not guided never really know how to express them or deal with them later on in life.
Thank you Amanda.
: 0 ) Theresa
Thank you Cerys.
I wonder if your eldest could do a 'name that feeling' version of the game where others show expressions on their faces that need to be identified. This could be expanded so that once the feeling is identified, it could be determined what social response is appropriate.
: 0 ) Theresa
Thank you Natasha.
Yes, I think everyone has met an adult who is unable to express his or her feelings in a healthy way. I love the idea of preventing that issue in children so that they have healthy interactions later on.
: 0 ) Theresa
great post, is it ok if I share this on my facebook because i think it is so great for everyone to see
Hi Terri Lynn.
I would love it if you would share this on your FB page. Thank you.
: 0 ) Theresa
Love this! so important!
Thank you MaggieMaysGifts.
: 0 ) Theresa
This is a great post! We talk all the time about how it is okay to feel sad or upset. However, it's not okay to lash out at others when we feel this way. I love the video. What a smart little girl.
Thank you Melissa Matters.
It sounds like you are working on the same lessons that we are : 0 ). It is great when children learn that actions are not 'caused' by feelings.
: 0 ) Theresa
oh adorable, totally love the video – fascinating viewing!
I'm a counselor too, and I always end up teaching feeling words to clients. Adults struggle knowing how to voice their feelings too. Teaching kids to be aware will definitely help them as they age.
Hi Nicci.
I think many adults never had the chance to learn about feelings and behavior when they were younger and seek out the information later on. I agree that teaching them early will help them as they get older.
: 0 ) Theresa
Thank you for watching the video Ali. I am glad you enjoyed it.
: 0 ) Theresa
Great post! I think it is very important to teach children how to handle their emotions and choose appropriate reactions to them. These games are an excellent way to discuss that with kids!
I love role playing especially to teach about feelings and behavior. Great ideas, thank you for sharing.
These are great ideas! I think so much about my kids learning skills like reading, but dealing with emotions is so important too. Great post!
Amazing read! Thank you for these great ideas and for bringing awareness to the fact that this must be taught.
Thank you Danielle.
Luckily, making faces is fun and they love to be asked their opinions too. I think it makes them feel 'grown up.'
: 0 ) Theresa
Thank you Growing Book by Book.
: 0 ) Theresa
Thank you Mommy A to Z blog.
I think of learning about emotions as a different kind of 'reading' but equally important to books.
: 0 ) Theresa
Thank you Lindsay.
Your point is a good reminder that learning about feelings must be taught (and if it is not taught, there will be consequences later on as adults try to figure it out). As adults, we often forget about all the things we learned early on as we take them for granted. We forget that we even needed to learn certain things.
: 0 ) Theresa
Capri is too cute and her answers spot on. A lot of adults need that attitude!!
Thank you Mrs. FF.
I am glad she is developing empathy towards others. We need to start doing projects that help people in the community as a family so that they can all further develop their empathy (and because it is important to do that anyway).
: 0 ) Theresa