Today, I am excited to welcome Jeniece from On The Go Mommy (another Mama of multiples) who is sharing her wisdom on parenting twins and celebrating their milestones. Find out more about Jeniece in her bio on the bottom of the post and stay in touch by following her on social media.
You pick up both car seats, one in each aching arm for the thousandth time. This time your exhaustion causes a slight misjudgement as one of the seats unexpectedly crashes into the door frame. You set them down even though you’re in a hurry and take a peek to make sure they are both ok. Deep breath…
You think you’ve got this grocery shopping thing figured out. You’ve got all your groceries in bags on mommy hooks on the front of your massive train that carries your precious angels. You always load your babies into the car first.
Then your worst fear…
You stupidly took the back baby out first leaving the groceries weight on the front. You watch in horror as your baby looks like she’s going to catapult out of that massive train. You jump up and grab the car seat and get her in the safe, warm car, fighting every tear before you decide you don’t care anymore. You don’t care if anyone sees you cry. You just need that release… let the tears flow.
Twin moms love. Cry. Persevere. Then sometimes break. You just want to know when you will get a break. When will you be able to stop fighting the hot, uncontrollable tears that sometimes appear for no reason (that you can think of). When will the depression disappear.
It will.
When you join the world of twin motherhood, you will constantly have people approach you and let you know they had twins, they are a twin, or they know a set of twins. When I’m not rushing away from the stares or annoying comments, I’ll ask the twin moms if they have any tips. You know what they all say?
It gets easier.
And some twin or triplet moms get more specific of when. When does is actually get easier? What twin life milestones are ahead that will make the day easier? Smiles and giggles are beautiful milestones, but these I am about to tell you help you look forward to the day and the moments it holds.
Twin Life Milestones
- Holding their head up
Carrying two babies at one time is an art, especially when they can’t control their bobble heads. When they can hold their own head up, it’s easier to scoop them into your arms. - 4 hrs of straight sleep
Getting no sleep makes it super hard to function and look forward to your day. Just one REM cycle… just one can do wonders for emotions, strength, and overall function. - Full body healing for mom
Every twin mom has a unique birth story, mine involved both deliveries: Twin 1 vaginal, Twin 2 cesarean. I couldn’t do anything by myself. Literally. So when I could heal enough to shuffle my way to the bathroom it was a little easier on everyone. - Sitting up
Just like picking up two babies is an art, so is laying them down. Their soft little heads need some cushion. But when they can sit up? You just plop them down! Ok, maybe less plopping and more setting 🙂 . - Breastfeed in less than 10 minutes
Breastfeeding can be agonizing trying to set up and get latched, get through the cracked nipple healing, and spending 45 minutes or longer to feed. When you are healed, latched and ready, and they eat in less than 10 minutes, it’s like the break (or nap :-)) you’ve long desired. - Schedule
A schedule comes and goes. One day they eat every 2 hours, the next it’s hourly, or a mix. Appreciate the days that a schedule works, like when they’re not in a growth spurt or teething phase. - Holding their own bottle
Similar to breastfeeding, it can get annoying to set up your double feeding hands. And then just sit there. And feed them. Looking back and forth with mama loving eyes. Meanwhile you have a 10 mile long list in your head of other tasks that need to be done. When they hold their own bottle, you’ll probably take a deep breath, let it out, and enjoy that little slice of a break. - Becoming the master
All in all, life with twins gets easier when you do it, fail it, test it, redo it, and succeed. Over and over. It’s not always that it is easier, it’s that you know how it works the best way. Before, you stared at your babies trying to figure out how to pick them up without dropping them. Now, you know how to scoop and tuck them close. And before you know it people will say how easy you make it all look.
Milestones. What are they exactly? Exciting points of a baby’s life for mom and dad (and everyone else) to enjoy? Maybe. But twin life milestones also include healing, joy, independence, knowledge, and my favorite… excitement for the day ahead.
There is no time line for when these will happen for you because every baby and every mom is different, unique, and special. Don’t wish your days to go by just to get to that next milestone! Enjoy the moments now and the little slices of breaks you receive.
Jeniece is a work at home mom and professional blogger from On the Go Mommy. She is a busy wife and mom raising 5 kids, including twins. You can read more tips about organizing your life on her blog. She likes to read, write, plan, shop, and drink hot chocolate by the fire. She hopes to encourage and inspire all of her readers through On the Go Mommy.
Connect with Jeniece of On The Go Mommy:
Connect with Jeniece of On The Go Mommy:
The idea of twins has always scared the crap out of me because I know some twin moms and how much work they have cut out for them, one of whom EBF for the first 6 months. I think these milestones apply across the board to all moms, but they are probably exponentially more stress relieving for moms of multiples.
Hello The Crux Design.
I agree that these milestones apply to all Mamas and are exponentially more stress relieving too. As a Mama who had four same age infants, I can relate!
: 0 ) Theresa
Thanks for the peek at what parenting twins can be like. It is good to know what milestones are important.
There's a lot of "milestones", but these were really refreshing 🙂
Thank you Shelah.
I think Jeniece really highlights those milestones well. They apply to all parents of infants, but add a little bit of extra relief to parents of multiples.
: 0 ) Theresa
You are doing amazing mama! Sounds like you are the boss at twindome! 🙂 All the best to you and your littles!
Thanks! We all have little bits of information that can help others. I'm glad I get to share them 🙂
Keep up the good work! I could relate to so many of these but just with one baby- now making it work with a baby and a toddler ahhhhhh! It's like a whole new set of milestones
Awwwwww when I was younger I always wanted twins!!!! Then I had one baby and was like omg, I don't how moms of multiples do it! Two babies, two different schedules
Haha, I can say I wanted to be a twin, but never thought about raising them! There's times their schedule gets off, but that's the ultimate sanity goal – keep them on the same schedule haha 🙂
Hi T Austin.
Jeniece is the "boss at twindome!" She has wonderful advice for Mamas of one, two or more babies.
: 0 ) Theresa
Hi Jenny.
I agree that the milestones apply to any number of babies. Jeniece really spoke to every parent. You have an adventure ahead with a baby and toddler and can write your own set of milestones for your two. It could be milestones for their sibling relationship.
: 0 ) Theresa
Hi CourtneyLynne.
It is funny as most Mamas have so much admiration for each other. Expecting parents have admire parents of one. Mamas of one will have empathy for Mamas of two. Twin Mamas have admiration and empathy for triplet Mamas. I have met many quad Mamas who admire quint mamas too!
: 0 ) Theresa
I think these milestones apply to all babies, but I imagine even more so with multiples! I'm in a state of awe, mama! Love this post!
I can't even imagine how amazing these milestones are with twins!
Breastfeeding in less than 10 minutes is definitely a milestone! I could barely do that with one child! Congratulations on your twins reaching so many milestones! They are beautiful <3
This is such a great post. I had a very good friend who had twins, and I remember watching her go through all of that which you described. I also remember some of the very same feelings as I ended up being pretty much full time babysitter for them when they were just 6 months old. Moms of multiples are amazing, thanks so much for sharing <3
Hi Meredith.
Jeniece has a wonderful writing style and really captures the feelings of overwhelm that happen as well as the joys.
: 0 ) Theresa
Hi Stefanie.
I think these milestones apply to all children but they make life even easier for Mamas of multiples. I love Jeniece's post!
: 0 ) Theresa
Hi Sue.
Jeniece really did a great job capturing their milestones. And the breastfeeding milestone is huge!
: 0 ) Theresa
Hi Kimberly.
You do have experience with these feelings. Jeniece really captures them beautifully. I remember having those feelings too when I took our four to the grocery store alone. I was usually surrounded by people before I could make it down the first aisle.
: 0 )Theresa
Such a wonderful post. My twins are almost 4, and I'm still waiting for it to get easier 😉 Some things actually are easier, but some are harder. It will eventually even out, I hope. The twin comments and questions are pretty crazy. And you're right…everyone is a twin, knows a twin, or knows the best friend of a twins' cousin.
Hi Shann.
Jeniece really captured the twin/multiples questions very well. I would add the questions of conception in there too. Do they run in your family or did you do that "in vitro thing?" Jeniece has a wonderful writing style and her post was wonderful to read.
: 0 ) Theresa
Thank you Stefani and Meredith!
Thank you so much, Sue! So sweet. Sometimes I couldn't believe they were really done when it had only been 7 minutes or so, but they really were!
Thank you, Kimberly! My mother in law watches ours and she makes comments all the time she doesn't know how I do it! We just do though, don't we?
I believe triplets + 1 would be another WHOLE adventure! WOW, Theresa! I guess we just figure it out 🙂
Yes, Shann! I am sure as they get older, there will be more milestones. Maybe I'll write one for their 2nd year 🙂 They've already started fighting over toys LOL. And everyone says, just wait till they're teenagers!! AHH. I guess we will figure it out haha.
Theresa,
Thank you SO MUCH! I am so thankful this worked out and for you to have me as a guest! I love your blog and was glad to be a little part in it 🙂 I hope it provides some encouragement for other moms!
Thank you so much Jeniece!
Your post is beautiful and I am sure it will be encouraging for many Moms. I have shared your post in my Mamas of Multiples group (who mostly have twins or are pregnant with twins). I really enjoy your writing style. You really capture the feelings of overwhelm that happen as you navigate things like shopping on your own! Thank you again for sharing your wisdom and insight.
: 0 ) Theresa
I'm a tiny bit disappointed. When I read the intro on "OntheGoMommy" I was so excited to finish reading because I've always been curious about twindom. However, the milestones don't apply to twins at all. Rather, they're just regular milestones for any mother. These even apply to ONE child. While it's great (and accurate) information, it wasn't what I was expecting and I feel the headline is misleading.
Hi Nia.
I can see why you thought the title was misleading. As a Mama of multiples myself, I can confirm that the milestones for multiples are the same as they are for any other children with the exception that they may take place on a different timeline if the babies are premature. Also, as Jeniece writes, there is a different meaning associated with them. When I had four infants at once, it made a huge difference when they could hold their own bottle or sit up unsupported. The other things that are associated with multiples, such as speaking their own 'language' (ours did) are wonderful and unique, but are not really milestones.
: 0 ) Theresa